Yaoi Time
by destroyedparadise234
Summary: Hey this is my first fanfiction so please be nice if you review! construcive criticism though is greatly appreciated! Summary: Light wants to spend 'time' with L, but the latter isn't exactly willing to oblige. Different characters in different chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Hey this is my first fanfiction so please be nice & leave a review!!!! *sends chibi eyes of doom* constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!!!!**

**Summary: Light has been acting kinda weird lately… Light is extremely OOC & L basically stays in character…most of the story**

**Disclaimer: Do you think I own Death Note? Trust me if I did L & Light would be living happily together & Matsuda would be their pet. :D**

**A/N: oh yeh also if you've ever seen a story like this before tell me cus I dnt wnt to seem like im copying **

L has noticed some strange behavior from Light lately. Light had always been an extremely hard worker but lately L has been catching his just sitting in his seat and staring at him. That's another thing: the staring. L would have to stare at Light in order to observe him for the Kira case, although it wasn't much of a chore for L to do for Light was very handsome. The silky chestnut hair, the soft flawless skin, the sounds of his voi-

Ok getting off track there, aren't you buddy?

Yeah, sorry, on with the rant. Maybe Light thought he had to stare at L, then again that would be a stupid deduction for Light to make. Oh yeh also Light's recent stupidity. For everything Light would always need help from L. From hacking into computer files to opening a jar of strawberry jam(1) which in turn actually did take L a awhile to do without flinching every time he tried to get close to the jar. It was truly starting to get on L's nerves, it's like Light suddenly thought of himself as some sort of pretty princess!! Great, the princess is starting to talk again.

"Hey Ryuzaki?"

"Yes Light-kun?"

Light stood up and started to walk towards L. It wasn't the fact that Light was walking over to him that made L slightly nervous, it was extremely seductive look on his face that made L dread what was about to come up next.

Light got extremely close to L's face and whispered hotly into his ear, "Ryuzaki, what time is it?"

That's it? Couldn't he just look at his watch or something? Oh yeh that's right he took it off since it 'made his wrist feel super itchy!!!'. Baby.

"Light-kun, it's three twenty-fiv-"

"YAOI TIME!!!!!!" Light shouted at the top of his lungs. He proceeded to rip off his shirt and straddle L's hips. Right when he was about to press his lips to L's did he say something that made Light want to stab him with a pen.

"No."

"....WHAT?!?!?"

"I said no, Light-kun. No need to shout." Seriously is he like Misa's brother now or something?!

"What do you mean no!!! How dare you deny my yaoi time!!"

"Light-kun get back to work."

"No!!!! I'm pretty!!!! I'm supposed to get my sex!!!"

"Light-kun…" why did I let the task force leave early??? They could've saved me from this…

"And since you're the only decent person here right now, you have the responsibility of giving me sex!!!!" What the hell is he some sort of sex-addicted puppy or something?!?

"I've had enough of this." L pushed Light off himself and proceeded to take off his side of the handcuff and attach it to a table. He was getting a headache from Light's 'I'm a pretty princess' attitude. "Watari please keep an eye on Light-kun while I take a nap. I don't want him in a same room as me while I am in a defenseless state. I can't imagine what I would wake up to.."

"Aww man!!!!! Right when it was getting goo- I mean yes Ryuzaki."

"This is so unfair…I'm a pretty princess…."

"Light-kun, I would like you to think about what you have done today and I hope you have learned your lesson. I hope you will return to your senses soon."

L walked out of the room while attempting to hide a massive hard-on he had.

**A/N: ok by the end of it L got really OOC… srry while I ws writin it I couldn't help it XD**

**This story was based on a picture I was on deviantart I think but I dnt know who drew them!!! Please if you find out who drew them tell me so I can give credit to them thanks!!!**

**(1) Beyond Birthday reference lol i jst wanted to add it in haha**

**Reviews are appreciated!!! Please I wanna know how I did on my first story :}**


	2. Turns

**Hey this is just some random drabble I wrote when I was bored….**

**A/N: this chap was inspired by shinigamiryuk919 so you'll only get it if you know who beyond birthday is or if you read the LABB Murder Case book**

**Disclaimer: I do not own death note or its characters ect.**

"It's my turn!!!!!"

"No way!!! It's my turn!!!!"

"That's not fair you had your turn yesterday!!"

"So?"

"SO?!! So it's my turn with L!!!!"

"You two! That's enough!"

Light and Beyond glared at each other. Lately the two have been fighting over who gets a turn with L and it's really starting to piss L off.

"But L!!!!! He got you yesterday so technically it's my turn now right?" Beyond put on the best puppy dog face he could muster causing millions of fangirls around the world to shout 'AWWW!!!'.

"So what if I got a turn yesterday? It's not like there's a rule book that states we have to take turns."

"But that's not fair!!!"

"Since when are you fair?"

"… Shut up Yagami!!!" Beyond's eyes glowed and he let out a feral growl.

"Ooh I'm shaking."

"Besides you said L's gonna pick you? It's completely obvious he likes me more."

It was Light's turn to growl and have glowy eyes. "What?!?! That is so not true!!"

"Oh it is Yagami, and you know it."

"No it's not, you should hear the way L moans when he's with me!!!!"

"So? He _screams _when he's with me."

"Well- Wait, you're seme?!?"

"Yup. Well most of the time it's him but still. Plus I bet I'm bigger than you."

Light was red with anger and embarrassment at this point, but he had a trick up his sleeve. "So what? I bet L _loves_ me more."

Beyond's confidence faltered for a moment but then swelled up again. "No he doesn't, L doesn't love murderers."

Light facepalmed. "Beyond, you're a murderer too baka."

"At least I only killed three people!!" 'Well at least that's how many people L knows I killed…' Beyond thought to himself.

"But you killed innocent people!!!! I only killed criminals!!"

"ONLY criminals?!? Ha don't make me laugh Yagami you killed FBI agents too."

"… Well that's because they were in my way, and plus that was before I met L. And plus you tortured your victims, you're a cruel person."

"Who the hell cares? Besides I'm prettier and have a cooler name. Light Yagami? What kind of a name is that?"

"No way I'm prettier!!!! Plus, Light's a pretty unique name."

"Beyond's a way cooler name. You can make puns with my name, but not as much puns you can make with _your_ name. My eyes are a way better color than yours and also if you call me ugly, you're also calling L ugly."(1)

"What are you talking about?! Red is such a weird eye color that's what makes you less pretty than me. L still looks like a god though. Oh and I'm also way sexier than you!!! Fangirls drool and have nosebleeds over me."

"I'm just as sexy as you if not sexier. Besides, why would L like you better? You have that retarded laugh that sounds like monkey that's being strangled!!"(2)

"You're one to talk!!! Quote ' Hehehehe.. no khukhukhu.. that not right…Kyahahahahahahaha!!!! That's it!!!!' end quote."

"I was trying to perfect my laugh!!!"

"Well whatever I've had more than my fill of this shit." Light pulled out the Death Note and Beyond rebuttled by pulling out a katana.

"Oh yeah also, you kill like a sissy. You have to use a magical notebook to kill while I can just use my bare hands."

"I just don't like getting dirty! There's nothing wring with that!"

"Pfft whatever you say, _Imagay._"

"Oh that's it!!!!!!!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!! I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU TWO BICKERING!!!! IF IT'LL MAKE YOU SHUT THE HELL UP I'LL PICK A GODDAMN PERSON ALRIGHT!!!!"

"Who is it?!?!" Beyond and Light shouted in unison.

Just then Matsuda walked in the room carrying a bunch of files for no apparent reason. "I pick Matsuda."

"WHAT!!??!" the three men shouted.

"Yes!!! Finally I get some yaoi time with L!!!! I've been on line for like seven months now!!" Matsuda proceeded to drop his files as L carried him off bridal style into the adjacent room.

Beyond and Light gaped at each other in anger and frustration.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Ewww!!! I don't want to have my yaoi time with you!!!!"

"Not that you idiot!!!!"

"Then what?"

"… you wanna kill Matsuda when they're done?"

"I don't know…"

CRASH

_MOAN_

"_Holy shit!! You're fricken huge!!!! No wonder they like you so much!!!"_

"We kill him at midnight."

"Agreed. Except we're killing him the old fashioned way, we're not using that magical sissy book of yours."

"Agreed."

A/N: well…that was suckish hehe. Sorry I wrote this really quickly

**1)I know BB uses make up but I was too lazy to point out other wise **

2)I'm not bashing the English kira laugh, in fact I actually freaking love that laugh it's my ringtone XD

Tht story was a lot more crackish thn my other ones lol

**quick parody from chapter 1 inspired by ****XtikiloowhoX:**

"**Can't you chew faster?!?"**

"**I'm trying but the chain's not wearing down!!! Can't you lift the table?"**

"**It's too heavy!!!"**

"**Can't you just get the keys from him?"**

"**But then he'll know what we're up to!!!! Just keep chewing I'll try to think of something! The fate of yaoi time rests on our hands!!!"**

"**Just hurry up I think my teeth are breaking…."**

"**I just hope he doesn't wake up soon… I have two hours left on my video camera and I don't want it to go to waste!"**

**A/N: ok tht ws weird… but this is my thanks to you for being my first reviewer XD **

**Ok so review please!!! **


	3. crackpair yaoi time

Hey guys!! This fic was intended to be a one-shot but I couldn't help but add this chapter XD

**Summary: Soichiro finds out about L and Light's relationship and it seems that he really isn't against yaoi after all ;)**

**Pairing: crack pairing SoichiroxWatari, some LxLight, and a hint of AizawaxMatsuda :D And yes this is a crack chapter. Enjoy!!!!**

**A/N: Note that Watari is much more innocent than in the last chapter. Lets also make Watari around 50 and Soichiro around 45 so that it's slightly less weird O_o**

To say things at the taskforce headquarters were awkward would be an understatement. Earlier that morning Matsuda noticed that L and Light hadn't come down to work yet. This was odd considering the fact that the chained duo are usually the first people to work. Slightly worried, Soichiro, the other members of the taskforce, and Watari decided to go to L and Light's room. When they arrived outside their room they heard Light moaning and assumed he was in some sort of pain. Being the overly protective father he is Soichiro knocked down their door. "Ahh…Ryuzaki…please..mor- Dad?!?!" Soichiro promptly fainted. Apparently Light and L were having… err… well _relations_ when Soichiro decided to knock their door down. Aizawa and Mogi expected them to be in a relationship already so they weren't too traumatized. Matsuda was cheering for them.

The room was silent except for the clicking of computer keys. Not being able to stand the awkward silence any longer Matsuda asked everybody if they would like to go out for lunch. Aizawa and Mogi, not wanting to stay behind agreed to go with him. Even L and Light agreed to go with them since they didn't want to stay behind with Soichiro. This left Watari and Soichiro alone together.

"Yagami-san, would you like some tea?"

"Yeah sure…"

As Watari poured some tea, Soichiro couldn't help but wonder why he couldn't see that his son was.. well on _that_ side of the fence. Was he really that dense not to notice? (A/N: well yeh kinda… I mean come on he ogles your boss constantly and they're **chained** together!!! It was bound to happen!!! Srry.. along with the story..) But another thought was plaguing poor Soichiro's mind. Ever since he was younger he has always wanted to well, experiment. He never well really got a chance to test his sexuality since he met Sachiko early and she wanted to get married early as well. It always bothered Soichiro, he loved Sachiko very much but he always wanted to try… even just a one time thing would be good… Maybe he was going through a mid life crisis? Either way this morning's event triggered this very disturbing train of thought.

"Yagami-san? Yagami-san??"

"Hmm? What was that?"

"Yagami-san, your tea."

Soichiro looked up to see Watari handing him a cup of tea. "Oh sorry I was just thinking about something. Thank you." As Soichiro took the cup of tea he couldn't help but notice how attractive Watari really was. He was probably just a few years older than himself. Watari must have been a real ladies man when he was younger… Soichiro couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the thought.

"Is something the matter Yagami-san?"

"Oh it's nothing."

"Do not worry about your son and Ryuzaki. They are both wise young men that can make decisions for themselves. If they truly car for each other we should give our blessings and support their relationship."

"I guess."

Soichiro also noticed how caring Watari is. He probably is pretty patient too since he has managed to deal with Ryuzaki all the time. He looked lean and seemed very strong too. But something caught Soichiro's eye; Watari doesn't have a wedding ring on.

"Watari?"

"Yes Yagami-san?"

"If it's not too much of a personal question I was wondering why you don't have a wedding ring on?"

Watari seemed slightly surprised by the question but not saddened or angered. That was a good sign… sorta. "If you are curious to know I never really got a chance to have relationsips, let alone get married. I was in the military for some period of my life and after that I started taking care of Ryuzaki."

So Watari was just Ryuzaki's guardian? He couldn't be Ryuzaki's father since he said he hardly had any relationships in his lifetime. What Watari said next though made Soichiro want to gape at the man.

"Also women never took my interest. I was courted many times when I was younger but the women never interested me."

This surprised Soichiro. So Watari was gay? Either that or Watari was too innocent to even find out if he was gay. This gave Soichiro a wicked urge to break said innocence. Soichiro made a diabolical smile and chuckled lightly. (A/N: like father like son? O_o)

"Excuse me Watari, may I bother you for a second?"

"What is it Yagami-san?"

Soichiro stood up from his seat and walked over to Watari. He whispered into his ear, "Watari, what time is it?"

* * *

"Wow Matsuda! That restaurant was actually really good!"

"Told you guys" Matsuda replied rather smugly.

"Yeah, you even got Ryuzaki to eat something besides cake and candy!"

"Their sweet and sour chicken was rather excellent."

"And the place is cheap! How'd you find the place?"

"Well my cousin came to Japan from the states and-"

"Wait, shhh… I think I hear something."

The team went next to Raito by the door. Raito's ear was pressed to the door lightly. "I think it's Watari talking." The rest of the team pressed their ears to the door as well.

"I don't understand what you mean…. I do not know what that term is… what…. yaoi time?… I'm sorry but I do not know what-….Soichiro I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about…. Try it?…. try what is it some sort of food?….what do you mean keep my voice down….who can hear us talking?…wait w-what are you doing?!? Yagami-san!?!? Soichiro!?? What are you doi-"

_crash_

_bang_

"Watari!!" shouted the five men in unison.

Mogi, being the big guy that he is, crashed the door open and jaw-dropped at the sight before him.

"What the…"

Matsuda rushed in behind Mogi. "Mogi what's wro- oh my…"

Aizawa followed soon after. "Uh…"

Finally L and Light entered the room and nearly fainted. Soichiro was straddling Watari with his shirt off and was now trying to rip Watari's shirt off.

"Dad?!?!? What the hell is going on here!!!"

"Uhh… I can explain!!"

"Yagami-san please get off of Watari." Soichiro begrudgingly stepped off Watari and followed Light to another room with Light scolding him as they walked.

L walked over to a very frightened Watari and patted him on the shoulder. "Watari, are you alright?"

"What the hell is it with that family and yaoi time!?!?"

**Kay that was my second fanfiction!!! Review pls I wanna know how im doing!!!!!**

**A/N: sorry by the end it got kinda crackish lol in the end I guess it's father like son XD**

**And now an alternate ending:**

**As L tried to get Watari to calm down and relax Mogi, Aizawa, and Matsuda were talking.**

"**Wow, I can't believe chief's gay."  
**

"**Gods everyone is turning gay now!!"**

"**I think it's good they're coming out of the closet… It's not easy to.." Matsuda quietly interjected.**

"**Matsuda, what are you saying??" **

"**Aizawa…I'm saying… I'm gay alright!!!" Matsuda quickly turned away red faced. Aizawa was a bit taken back by the sudden confession and put his hand lightly on his shoulder.**

"**Matsuda… why didn't you tell me earlier!!!! I'm a gay too!!!"**

"**Really?!!"**

"**Yup. So… wanna go on a date?"**

"**Sure!!!"**

Matsuda and Aizawa walked off together to get something to eat even though they just ate, which left a poor Mogi in the back. Mogi silently sulked. "I'm gay too…."

**A/N: Thanx 4 readin!!!! **

**Review pls :3**

v


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